The Inbetweener

Hey! So its been a few days since I have caught up with this thing. Heres an update.

The night of my last post (wednesday) Catherine and I DID talk for a while, although it was over Facebook since she is still in Texas and did not want to wake her friends up by talking late on the phone. I am the eternal packrat, so here is the conversation, at least the relevent parts.

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11:38pmCatherine
ok, so we'll helpt each other through our own each other's madnesses

11:39pmMootown
Thats usually how it works, though I now I am regretting using the term madness. Maybe personal quirks and idiosynchracies is better?

Not so ominous

11:39pmCatherine
and be there to kick each other's butts when we need it

yeah, i'm not mad

i'm not crazy

11:39pmMootown
This I know

11:39pmCatherine
but i have some issues that i need to resolve

like everyone

11:40pmMootown
Lol, why do I feel like you are trying to warn me away from you?

11:40pmCatherine
i am going to bed now

lol

because nothing but heartache comes from me lol

11:40pmMootown
uh, not real sure how to take that, but ok?

11:41pmCatherine
hahaha

11:41pmMootown
Now I AM a little worried lol

11:41pmCatherine
you think i'm crazy now?

i gotta goooo to bed

11:42pmMootown
No, but I am trying to read between the lines of what yousaying and what you are trying to hide from me, and usually I can easily. With you I can't so well?

11:42pmCatherine
not understanding things

Mootown
Bah, never mind me over analyzing things.

11:43pmCatherine
haha ok can we continue another time when i know what i'm talking about?


cause right now i'm just tarying to keep my head off the eypyoard

kay

key

board

11:43pmMootown
Sounds like a plan. Sweetest drams Catherine.

11:44pmCatherine
not trying to push you away

not making sens

e

good night

:)

maybe i am cause you're a guy

not sure this is the time to talk about it! loll

11:45pmMootown
Lol, you had better decide because you bringing some things up here and I am not gonna be happy if you leave me hangin'

11:45pmCatherine
ok

11:45pmMootown
Well, not not happy, but wondering a lot tomorrow lol

11:46pmCatherine
damn now other people sending messages

want to go to bed.

11:46pmMootown
lol

11:46pmCatherine
i like you and our talks and spendingtime together

11:46pmMootown
As do I

but I sense a but?

11:47pmCatherine
i hope that it doesn't get weird with the guy girl thing, but you've ginven me no reason to believe it would, i think carolyn just telling me to be careful put these thoughts in my head

i don't want someone in my life or in liam's life that we really like just go away one day

i guess that's the issue

getting close and fearing it will stop so not want ing to get close

11:49pmMootown
Gimme a sec here to respond K? My phone just rang. Getting rid of the caller

11:49pmCatherine
k

Mootown
Hmm, well I will tell you what I told my best friend Dan earlier tonight. I am at a point with you where I am not sure what to think. I really enjoy spending time with you, and I won't lie, I am attracted to you. I have just been playing it cool because I didnt knwo what you wanted, or what you were thinking. Its still early enough in our friendship/relationship or whatever, to dictate what happens. If you just want to be friends, then thats great! If you want something more, I
am open to that too. I can tell you that I am not a hit and run kind of guy...usually when people worm their way into my life/heart, they stay there. So, if you are afraid that I will up and leave, you needn't worry about that.

Whew, my fingers are panting

11:54pmCatherine
haha

ok i'm glad you told me that

Mootown
But I understand that just saying these things is not exactly proof. I realize we have been spending a lot of time together, and I don't want to be a flash in the pan for you either lol

11:54pmCatherine
hold on...

11:54pmMootown
k

11:56pmCatherine
you are someone that i don't want to just "try it and see" because i feel like our friendship is meaningful to me. I also feel like i want that support and give support without the confusion of a romantic relationship because that's where my issues lie. i don't know how i'll feel down the road, but that's where i stand now

11:59pmMootown
Thats fair. Honestly, I didn't want to bring anything up until after things had settled down a bit for you. I mean, its obvious that there is something there, but I didn't want you to think I was taking advantage of the situation. In truth, your friendship is also very valuable to me, but since you have been gone, I have been thinking, perhaps too much. Anyways, its good to know where you stand.

11:59pmMootown
:)

12:00amCatherine
don't think too much lol

12:00amMootown
LOL

preaching to the choir

12:01amCatherine
haha

12:02amMootown
Well, I am not gonna keep pressing this. Like I told you, I am a bit of a fatalist so I am a wait and see person. You certainly don't need any more pressure put on you.

12:03amCatherine
lol


i like the wait and see attitude

but i want to be sure that you would still be around if we ended up only friends

12:04amCatherine
or rather, i'd want to know if you would or wouldn't want to be

12:06amCatherine
i don

t even need to know tonight

lol

just something in my head

12:06amMootown
lol. Catherine, I can't tell the future. Wish I could. I can tell you this though: I believe that if we just remain friends I will still be around, and if we try something and it turns out it does not work out, I would still be your friend. Granted it would be difficult at first, but I have done it before, and from what I know about you and the way we interact and see the world, I would still be your friend

sorry, I type slow when I am thinking

12:07amCatherine
haha ok

ok i am glad and i am going to bed!

lol

12:07amMootown
sigh lol

ok

sleep tight Catherine

12:08amCatherine
you too arron

aaron

don't stay up late thinkgin!

or spelling

12:08amMootown
Rofl

no promises

12:08amCatherine
haha

12:08amMootown
gonna go see the stars now...like I wont be thinking under the night sky

12:08amCatherine
powering down...

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

12:09amMootown
sweet dreams;)

12:09amCatherine
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

ok goodnight

12:10amMootown
Lol go to bed! G'night Catherine!

12:10amCatherine
goodnight

12:12amCatherine is offline.


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I e-mailed her this the next day.

So I tried not to overthink anything, and to finish my thoughts from yesterday's conversation, I have this to say. Why don't we hold off on any more discussions like this. We start school and work in a week and a half, and you have Liam back. We don't really know each other outside the blissful do nothing-ness of summer, and Liam certainly doesn't know me yet. In other words, real life is about to set in. Lets just play it cool for a while and keep exploring each other without pretense or labels. This mutually supportive, witty and substantive quid pro quo thing we have going on seems to be working, so why mess with it? Lets just be adults who enjoy each other's company while letting God/fate or what have you attend to everything else.

To which she responded favorably saying "That sounds really good Aaron!"

Anyways, that night Brian came down about 1:30am and we went for a drive to see if we could still see some of the Persied meteor shower. I needed to talk this out with someone...get an objective perspective. Well, five minutes into the drive I got pulled over and was given a field sobriety test, which of course I passed and only received a warning. As if I wasn't jumpy enough already! Brian's advice boiled down to this: be careful man because she has a hole she is trying to fill. I know you think she is strong, but I can see her falling apart pretty easily and you will be the one who is left to reassemble the pieces." I took this with a grain of salt because Brian has been married and divorced already, and because he has only met Catherine twice. Indeed, I think she is stronger than he can see. Like everyone, she just needs a rock to lean on every now and again.

On friday, I ran over to Catherine's place (did I mention she left me her keys so I could water her plants and get her mail already?)to leave a surprise for her and Liam. I thought they were coming home that night, so I made a small meal for them so Catherine would not have to cook after a long day of flying and then driving home from Akron. I also made a balloon animal and put it in Liam's room. Of course I found out late that night that she was not coming home until monday! Funny, she never told me when she was coming home! I told her she had ruined my surprise, but she said she LOVES surprises and now she is expecting one, so I need to do something else. Sigh...the best laid plans eh?

Anyways, we talked a bit tonight on the phone (it was so good to hear her voice!) because I called her when she told me she was coming home alone monday so she could work her 20 hrs on tuesday and wednesday, and then drive back to her mom's in Akron wednesday night to get Liam, and come back Thursday. This upset the new surprise I had been planning!! Got to put my thinking cap on now...There was one highpoint of the conversation though. She had a terrible headache, and I told her I was going to let her sleep, but she told me that now that she heard my voice, she wanted me to stay and talk to her for a while. Her words "Now that I hear your voice, I want to hear more." TO which I replied "I don't want to keep you awake!" Her response: "talk monkey talk!" I love her sense of humor! We talked a bit more about nothing in particular and then hung up. Man, I really miss her...

So, thats about it. Tomorrow I am heading to Delta to hang with my mom's side of the family and swim with my cousins. Kaleb is 5, the same age as Liam, so I can brush up on my ability to hang with kids before I meet Liam later this week.

Oh, and my new surprise is to make a bunch of balloon animals for Liam when he comes home. Now I need to think of something to do for Catherine...