A New Day...

Lets try this again shall we?

I just had one of the more amazing weekends of my life. I thought it would be best to write it all down here so I don't forget the details. Some backstory is first necessary

though.

About a month ago or so,I was invited to see the movie the Hangover with Aaron Misthal. A few hours before the movie, he called and asked if it would be alright if he brought a friend, Catherine. along. She was feeling a little low because her son Liam was staying in Texas with his father for the last 6 weeks of the summer. He had been gone about two weeks, so she was lonely, and she was afraid because she had an upcoming court date pertaining to which state, Ohio or Texas, would be the jurisdiction for a child custody hearing. I remembered that Aaron had mentioned trying to set us up a a year prior to the movie, and he thought we were pretty compatable. I went to the movie pretty upbeat, and was pleasantly surprised: Catherine was very attractive. Shes about 5 foot 8 inches, red hair, plenty of freckles, and a thin but strong physique. I later found out that she was a dancer. Anyways, I sit next to hear during the movie, and I love her laugh, but unfortunately her ex called mid-movie and she returned 30 mins later a less than happy camper.

After the movie Catherine suggested a drink, so the three of us hit up Beckett's and Reverend's for some good conversation. I found myself intrigued. Catherine has a radient smile and corny as it sounds, it really does light up a room. She was also pretty funny the more she drank, not in a bad way though. Several times she started to say something(either a joke or to tell a story, usually something sexual or involving swearing) only to cover mouth quickly and say "No, I can't say THAT!" I should also say at this point that I knew that Catherine had a son and an ex whom she despised and that she was in some sort of custody battle (which I still don't completely understand, but I am sure now she is in the right.) Anyways, my head said no, my heart said nothing yet, but the pheramones were firing.

So, its 2am and Catherine suggests a swim. Her apartment complex has an indoor pool, so we stop by my apartment, grab 2 suits for me and Aaron, and head to her place. We proceed to swim for about 3 hrs! It was relatively fun at first (mostly because I was drunk) but it soon became apparent that she wanted somethig to happen with Aaron. For his part, Aaron was flirting every bit as hard. Needless to say, given the alcohol, the water, and a beautiful woman in a suimsuit I was unhappy at having to watch what was happening. See, Aaron had told me many times that while she might have wanted to date him, he wanted nothing to do with her. As he informed me on the way home though, his feelings about the situation had changed. I found out the next day that he had spent the night but nothing sexual happened.

A week or so later, Aaron and I are gearing up to go for one of our drives. Surprise, hes bringing her along. Hey, whatever works right? So, we are driving and it turns out that she has pretty good taste in music (very attractive to me) and she is very interested in learning (20 questions, Greek mytholoigy etc.). However, she and Aaron are still flirting up a storm as I drive, so again, I am a bit of a third wheel. Upon returning to my apartment, Aaron ran in to use the bathroom and Catherine asked me what the hell was up with him. Apparently he had sent her an e-mail (no balls man) saying he didnt want to date her, but wanted a casual relationship with her (no clue). She wanted advice about how to deal with this, and how to hook him for good. We chatted, and I warned her, just as I had warned him, to watch out for mixed signals (his sending, her reading). Anyways, they left, and I think it odd how well Catherine and I are getting along, and I marvel at the level of comfort we have with each other. Anyhow, I shake it off and go to bed. He stays with her again.

A few days later Aaron calls again and wants to grab a drink so me, Aaron, Brian and Catherine hit up Reverend's. We have a good time, and Aaron is still flirting up a storm despite the fact that he has reiterated to me and Brian, as well and Catherine, that he does not want a relatioship with her. Brian and I were pretty pissed. We agreed that Catherine was pretty awesome and that he was fucking with her head. Anyways, we decide to go for a drive...great stars, good discussion, and more flirting. I am stuck driving Brian home because Aaron is staying with Catherine again.

Two days later all hell breaks loose. Catherine and I chat on Facebook and on the phone a bit in preparation of a surprise meeting with Aaron at a bar in Toledo. He had ignored her calls for the past two days, amd she was a little miffed and wanted to put him on the spot. I wanted see his face when she walked in with me and Brian in the hopes that he would realize that he was being a jackoff. Oh fuck was he pissed. I quote "Dude, why did you bring her? You shouldn't have done that...you shouldn't have done that." Turns out that Aaron is trying to woo an ex named Jenny who was married (fucking moron). I was pissed, Brian was pissed, and Catherine, well she was uber-pissed. We stayed for a bit, Aaron sat there sullen, noncommunicative, and in general carrying on all cranky like. When we left, Brian, Catherine and I went for another drive and basically, Catherine realized that she was being used, manipulated, and more/less made to relive why she got a divorce. She wrote Aaron a pissed e-mail and rightfully so. She and I talked online as she wrote it that night (well morning). Anyhow, I wake up to a REALLY pissed off voicemail from Aaron, the highlights of which include the statement "Don't ever bring her anywhere without my permission...we are not some foursome of friends. I'd like to keep her separate from my other friends." I...was...livid. Thus began the end of our friendship, at least as it stands now. A flurry of insulting emials ensued in which his arrogance and inability to see his own faults ran rampant, and I responded with some pretty spiteful words of my own. In the end, the things that had always bothered me about Aaron came bubbling to the surface (his immaturaty, his need to control everything, his use of depression as an excuse to be a bastard...and my inability to stop myself from letting him get away with it all just to try and keep a friend). I decided to stop responding and that was about a week ago. Haven't heard a peep from him since.

Catherine and I talked a few times over email and text message after that until Thursday, July 29th, 2009. Just after dinner time Catherine called me and we talked for a while...for like an hour before she went on a ill-advised date, and then for three more hours after that. I got most of the ex-husband/divorce/custody of Liam story during that conversation, and I was happy to listen. For one thing I was connecting with someone who trusted me, and that was exhilerating because the older I get, the harder it is. For another thing, I have a feeling that stories similar to this will crop up more often as I continue to grow into adulthood, so the practice was nice.

Well, I went home that Friday to house-sit for my parents while they were in Seattle, but I realized that I had forgotten to pay my rent the night before, so I had to come back to Bowling Green. Throughout the day Catherine and I talked off and on through text message and over the phone. We started talking about Chinese food. We agreed that when I came back to BG we would go out to the Old COuntry Buffet and grab some dinner, which was great. Catherine loves sushi, which they serve, and I like both sushi and Chinese food, so we were both happy. I'm not real sure if either of us considered this to be a date, but whatever,,,I just knew I liked her company. After dinner we went back to my apartment, which was cleaner, but by no means immaculate. She immediately went to work, and we cleaned for around 3 hours! I was a little sullen at first as no one likes to have someone come in and tell you what to do etc. but I got over it and eventually began to appreciate the help. Whilst we cleaned she was fielding text messages from a guy in Virginia named Luke...a military guy she had met online and once had something with. She kept asking me advice about what to say...he intimated that he wanted her to come out for a visit, and she played along thinking that if he would pay for the plane ticket, she could have a weekend of great sex or something. I kinda played along too, but noted often how bad of an idea it was. Personally I think she was just looking for an excuse to not have to think about Liam and the ever-nearing court date. Anyways, she told him it had to be that weekend and he said he couldn't, so that was the end of that. After we finished cleaning she was pretty tired and I still had to drive back to Sylvania, so I dropped her off at home, and started my drive. Before I left she mentioned how Saturday was laundry day and she had tons to do. Knowing that I had access to a washer and drier (free ones) I told her to come down to my parents' house and do her laundry there. She said that could work well and said she'd call me tomorrow. My phone had died earlier, and when I got home I realized that I had forgotten to tell her that her feet were BLACK from cleaning barefoot, so I quickly plugged my phone in and started to send a text message in case she was still awake. Turns out she had called me already asking me if I would help her new neighbors move in, but I never got the message until it was too late. Oh well. I sent my message, got no response, and settled in for a few hours of reading Harlan Coben's No Second Chance. About 45 mins later she called the house phone (I had given her the number earlier) to say thank you and that she was greatful bcse she hadn't gotten into bed yet. I also mentioned that I was prepared to cook her dinner as a thank you for cleaning my apartment. She said that sounded excellent. So, the evening ended well.

The next day I awaited her arrival with mixed emotions. I was excited to hang with someone I was really starting to like, but I still hadn't decided exactly how to handle the situation. For one thing, she was pretty vulnerable given her custody crap and I knew she was looking for a stabilizing force. I told myself the night before while driving home that I would be that stable influence, someone she could lean on without judgung her or anything. For another thing though, I knew I was attracted to Catherine. We laughed a lot together, had similar interests, and seemed very compatable. Did I mention that she is stunningly beautiful? I decided to let her articulate what she wanted from me by simply playing it cool and allowing her to dictate most of the terms of our friendship/relationship. Anyways, I am not exactly in shape, so I kindof planned a tiny con: to be mowing the lawn when she arrived so that she could see me doing some work lol. God I can be so petty sometimes. Funy thing is, she makes me want to be a better person so I guess it wasn't really manipulative. Anyways, she gets to the house around 3:30 maybe and starts her laundry. I finish the lawn. I come in and we make a few quick sandwiches for lunch. I had little to drink, so we decided to make some iced tea. Well, she likes sweet tea, and I like it sun-dried without sugar, so we made both. I could tell she was a little antsy: she kept saying things like "I'm so jumpy" or "I'm bored lets do something." I wasn't really sure what to think lol. So, I told her I needed a shower and went upstairs to do so.

She said she had brought a book read in case I had other things to do so it was fine. I showered and came back downstairs, and by now it was around 6:30. She had finished 2 of 6 loads or so, but she had done the first load with my detergent since she was running out. Turns out the scent or whatever from some detergents makes her break out, so she would have to rewash that load. Man, that sucks! Anyways, we realize that if she was going to finish all her laundry she would be around for quite a while, so we went to the store to shop for dinner. I had barbeque marinated chicken at home, and she suggested a side of fetuccini alfredo. Good deal. We also picked up some lemonade mix and some green beans. Then she mentioned that she needed to buy some face cream for her trip to Texas for the court date. We found some, and I bought it for her since I know she is as poor as I am and I had some money from my parents. She was appreciative, which pleased me because some people take handouts as if they deserve them. Not Catherine: she was very happy.

So we return and start to make dinner. I defrost the chicken while she peels the garlic. I put the chicken on the grill with the beans while she monitored the pasta and made lemonade. We made quite a nice little team if I do say so myself! We ate dinner outside on the back porch and it was pretty good. I was apprehensive because I am no expert cook and use the grill rarely. The chicken was good but a little overdone, but everything else was great! By this point we had each gotten into my parents' ample and rarely used liquer supply. I was drinking gin and tonics and she was drinking her version of mudslides: khaluha, Grey Goose vodka, milk, and chocolate. She then moved on to just vodka and lemonade. We made small talk for a while, and she mentioned that she was going to take me up on my offer stay the night. Score? She did another load of laundry and we settled in to watch a movie. We decided that Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix would work nicely. Despite several interruptions because one of us had to pee or when she needed to take out clothes and fold them, it was fun. She is like me during movies: a few remarks here and there are fun and fine, but no conversations! It ended and we adjourned to bed in separate beedrooms. I had a dream in which she came into mine during the middle of the night and just slept next to me....very weird.

I figured that she would leave early the next day, but I figured wrong lol. I got up around 10:15 and headed downstairs. She was awake and arranging her clothes and finishing one last load. We had a quick breakfast of Basic 4, and I thought she was gonna head out. Instead she asked to use the computer. I said sure. She started to hunt for e-mail communications she could use in her court case, and asked my opinion on what would prove the points she wanted to make. I was happy to listen, and after an hour we had some pretty good evidence. Then she called Progressive and checked on her car insurance obligations for when she rented a car in Texas. I hopped in the shower, and apparently she did too in the other bathroom. It was time for us to part ways as I wanted to return to BG as well and see if my neighbor Rebecca had further cleaned my apartment as she had said she would. I got back to BG around 3pm and I was so surprised. On top of what Catherine and I had done Friday night, Rebecca had cleaned the kitchen and living room. It was stunning. I sent Catherine an email thanking her for a great weekend, and stated to read When the Wind Blows by James Patterson. I knew Catherine was cleaning amongst other things, and I knew we had spent a lot of time together, so I figured I would let her have some time away from me lol. She texted me two hours later saying that she was so used to my company that several times she started saying something thinking I was around. She then asked me straight up to come help her clean because she didnt want to do it alone.

I said sure.

I went over and after some pleasantries we set to work. First thing first, clean and rearrange Liam's bedroom...no small feat. I think we were a bit cranky for a while...lack of sleep, too much time around each other, her worry about the court case, my worry about what was happening. Plus, she had convinced me to quit smoking...though I bought a pack on the way back to BG. If things took any odd turns with Catherine I knew I would need them. After Liam's room was finished (moved evrything out, vaccumed, moved everything back in new positions) we cleaned up all his toys that he had hidden around the house and those that she had packed into ecofriendly grocery bags by the door. Next, we wanted dinner and it was getting late, so I offered to take the recycling stuff to the recycle center down the street and grab a pizza. She promised to finish cleaning and make a nice salad. I came back, and she had one more job for me before dinner: replace blown out lightbulbs. Sounds easy right? No. Several of her lights were screwed into the ceiling so I had to unscrew the case, change the bulb, and then screw the case back on. Would have been easy except that previous owners had screwed directly into the ceiling and into insulation. I finally got it all done and then my mom called JUST as we were sitting doen to dinner about 9:45. She had figured out that a girl had been over. Her evidence: the facial cream cream wrapper in the bathrom from what Catherine and I had bought earlier that weekend. Haha, she caught me in a lie. I didnt want to tell her about Catherine, partially because my parents are semi-judgemental and partially because I wasn't sure what was going on with us anyways. So I lied and told her no. She knew lol. I called her back after dinner and told her most of the truth. She sounded underwhelmed, but didn't really care. The night was winding down, and so were both Catherine and I. We decided on a movie before bed. Though she wanted to watch Dr. Zhivago (which I had let her borrow) it was late so we settled on Mickey Blue Eyes. I almost fell asleep several times, and she stated as the movie ended "Ok...Aaron, I don't want to be awake anymore." She is so adorable sometimes! So, we said our goodbyes and I returned to my apartment down the street. And so, this is where things stand now although her Facebook status was just changed to "Cathering is believing" whatever that means.

Of course I cannot recount every little thing that happened over the weekend, but one thing I know for certain: it was kind of fun to live and be domestic with Catherine for a while. We were kindof like parents living at home when the kids are away for a weekend. All I know is that I laughed a ton, and enjoyed myself immensely. And this all with a woman I have known for only a little over a month.

Saturday August 8th - 2:35 a.m.

Since Sunday, Catherine and I have talked every day. I find that I really miss her company when shes not physically around. Monday, we just texted back and forth and talked a bit on the phone before going for a pretty long walk. We talked mostly about her upcoming court case and the possible deals she could make with Bill, her ex. I could tell that she was slowly starting to build up to panic mode, and I KNEW she needed someone around to take her mind off things. I was more than happ to be that person. Tuesday we talked a bit during the day, and I was going to drop by her place late to eat some sushi I had purchased. She realized though that she had a school project she needed to finish and turn in before she left, so I suggested that we forgo hanging out that night so she could go to bed early and wake up early and rested and finish everything. That way the sushi would be a reward. This was the first night I noticed that neither of us really wanted to get off the phone with the other. I only hoped it was for similar reasons. As it turns out, she didnt go to bed early at all, but watched Dr. Zhivago instead lol. That is such an Aaron thing to do! I was amused.

Wednesday night I was supposed to hang some pictures up for Liam's bedroom, but we was pretty busy most of the day and we didnt really talk much. I thought maybe she was ignoring me, but in reality she had been on the phone with Liam for a while. I felt bad for pestering her lol. Around 8:30 or so I finally went over and we hung the pictures (2 Superman and 2 Batman portraits...very cool, old, classic comic book covers. We settled in to eat the sushi and she made an interesting pasta: angel hair with spinich and miso. It was pretty good. We then decided to rent a movie, and settled on Dane Cook's Vicious Circle. We laughed uproariously...god I love her laugh. The night ended, and I left.

Thursday was an odd day to be sure. I woke up late (11ish...hey its summer for me) and she called and wanted to know if she could stop by later. I said Id be home so I waited. She came by around 3:30 and she was not in good shape. Her ex had called and mentioned several things. First, he said that he wanted Liam for a shorter period of time next summer (bastard). Second, he told her that he was open to making a deal, which was good news to my ears, though he still wanted to keep the court date. Third, he said he did not want full custody of Liam...he had sued for it and this was why Catherine had set the court date to move jurisdiction to Ohio. We talked for a while about what that meant, but became more and more furious. She was unhinged a bit about how much of an ass he is, and how manipulative he is. In fact, she wanted to break things and let out some aggression. So, I drew a bullseye on a sheet of paper on my door, and told her to throw pencils and markers at it. Then ran into my bedroom, grabbed my pillow, and SCREAMED into it. From there, she said she wanted company for dinner and while she packed for the plane ride to Texas on Friday. Of course I agreed. As we were leaving my neighbor Rebecca was outside.

I had given her a ride to a meeting on Wednesday, and talked a bit to her about Catherine so she knew relatively what was going on. As Catherine pulled out she said out loud "Is that her? Oh!" and she covered her mouth. She came to my car window and said "Oh Aaron shes beautiful." I responded "Oh yes, don't I know it!" Haha. Anyways, I put that compliment in my back pocket until later when Catherine was having another down moment.

Back at Catherine's apartment, she called Liam while I went out for some food. I came back and we made dinner while she put clothes away. We ate tensely as she was really worried. I helped her pack then (by helped I mean I sat on her bed and talked to her so she wouldn't freak out) until she was almost done. Then she wanted to watch Vicious Circle again lol. We did, and afterwards I prepared to leave. Instead, she sat on the chair across from me and said "Aaron, I am freaking out. I am freaking out!" We talked for a bit more, and I tried to calm her down so she could get to bed. Her flight was leaving from Akron at 12:45 pm friday afternoon, and Akron is two and a half hours away. She was going to be up at 6am...it was already almost 1am. I suggested she get some sleep, but she said she didnt think she could, and mentioned wanting someone to play with her hair. I thought about volunteering, but I didn't. I figured it would be bad to add to the situation. Well, she mentioned it again a few minutes later, and this time could not resist being close to her. She came over and laid a pillow on my lap and laid down. I stoked her beautiful, soft hair for about an hour as she dozed on and off. I was in heaven in some ways. I have really missed being close to someone. I only hoped it helped her feel safe and wanted. I mentoned that it was 2am and she HAD to sleep, so I got up to leave. Before leaving I gave her my Hebrew hand of God (a prayer for travelers) from my keychain, and gave her a big, strong hug. I whispered in her ear "Be safe and remember you are right in all of this..." and said goodbye. God but I wanted to kiss her forehead. I got home, but couldn't sleep. I wrote her an email instead, hoping she would get it during the day friday and it would make her smile. I wrote:

Catherine

I have been trying to fall asleep but it just was not happening. Something felt incomplete. At first I couldn't put my finger on it, but now I realize that in my sleepy stupor I didn't say some things I wanted to say. After the range of emotions you went through today, and vicariously me too, my mind keeps wandering to one simple truth: I am really going to miss you. I just felt the need to let you know that.

I am truly hoping things turn out welll for you because I know you absolutely deserve it. I can tell without ever having seen you and Liam together that you are a great mother,

and I already know that you are an amazing person in so many ways! Please do not forget these two truths no matter what happens! You and Liam will both be in my thoughts this week.

Again, I am here if you need anything.

Be safe and keep in touch if you can...

Aaron-

I wanted to craft it perfectly...to have a balance of empathy, steadfastness, and strength, topped off with a reminder that I would be thinking about her and miss her.

I received a text about noon friday saying "That hug was great. It has given me strength today ;)" I was very pleased! I did not hear from her the rest of the day, so I sent a text asking if she had arrived safe and sound, which she had. Then, though it took all my willpower to not keep texting her, I told her that I knew she was staying with a friend and she was exhausted, and that I would say good night...and I wished her sweet dreams, to which she replied "OK, goodnight!"

And that is where things stand now, as of 3:15am Saturday August 8th. I wish she had responded to my email, but she has other things on her mind I am sure. All I know is that after a brief period of time, I am falling pretty hard for someone I probably shouldn't. It has not escaped me that this seems to be a recurring scenario...the ones I cannot or should not have. But long story short, I cannot get her out of my mind, and it is taking all my strength to leave her be and do what she needs to do in Texas. I can only hope I am on her mind too, at least as much as I can in this trying time for her. Got that god damn Melvin Udall quotation from As Good as it Gets in my head: "You make me want to be a better man..." She already has in many ways. Does she feel the same? Am I a blip on her radar? Did she just use me as a rock of support in during an impossible situaiton? Could I be her Heathcliff (sans his maleviolence)? I suppose I'll find out soon enough...